


Hot Water

by acaseofthehiccups



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Drabble, Episode: e060-066 The Stolen Century Parts 1-7, Gen, In which Lucretia gets real tired of this shit, rated T for A Swear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-19
Updated: 2017-11-19
Packaged: 2019-02-04 10:54:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12769512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acaseofthehiccups/pseuds/acaseofthehiccups
Summary: The first time someone leaves dirty dishes in the sink, Lucretia washes them.





	Hot Water

The first time someone leaves dirty dishes in the sink, Lucretia washes them. 

She doesn’t mind washing dishes, much. It’s soothing, she tells herself, and if she’s going to wash her own dishes, she may as well wash the rest, right? Just this once.

Six cycles later, she witnesses Magnus dump an entire armful of greasy dishes in the sink. As he walks away, a small part of her dies inside. 

In her neatest handwriting, Lucretia pens a small note: _Please remember to wash your dishes!_ She carefully sticks it just above the sink, and then she pulls out the dish soap. 

Notes begin to pop up around the Starblaster. _Please don’t leave open bottles of nail polish on the bathroom counters. The refrigerator is for food, not science experiments! If you break the furniture, please alert Magnus or Davenport (prestidigitation ≠ fixing the chair)._

_Please, wash your dishes._

 

During Cycle 28, Lucretia watches as Barry fills a sauce pot with water and leaves it in the sink. Lucretia lets out a small sigh, and Lup looks up, fingers pausing from where she’d been braiding her hair.

“What’s up, Lucy-Lu?” 

“Oh – nothing,” Lucretia lies. Lup’s eyes narrow, and Lucretia backpedals. “No, it’s just – it’s nothing, really, it’s just, I thought I’d gotten all of the lunch dishes. I must have missed one. It’s all right, though,” she adds hastily, as Lup’s ears fold back against her head and her gaze swivels towards Barry, “it’s only one p-"

“BARRY J. BLUEJEANS,” Lup bellows, “I KNOW YOU WERE NOT ABOUT TO LEAVE THAT CRUSTY-ASS POT IN THE SINK.” 

Barry jumps so high his feet leave the ground. “No! Of course I wasn’t! I was just, uh…letting it soak-"

“Because if you were, _Barold_ , you know that I will personally ensure that you, and you alone, are responsible for washing every dirty dish that passes through this kitchen for the next fifty cycles,” Lup growls threateningly.

Barry pales and hurries over to the sink. “You know, now you mention it, I don’t think this one needs to soak for all that long anyways.” 

“That’s right, Barold,” Lup says, fingers returning to her braid.

Lucretia holds a hand over her mouth to hide a smile. 

 

When Lucretia sees a mess of pasta dishes in the sink, her mouth presses into a thin line. She casts a ward around the dripping dishes and carefully scoops them up into her arms. 

Merle guiltily jumps back from one of his many potted plants as Lucretia kicks open the door to his room.

“What in the hell—"

Lucretia stares at him impassively as she holds the dirty dishes over his bed and drops them, one by one. He watches helplessly as the grey dishwater, iridescent with a haze of oil and dish soap, slops out of the pan and soaks into his bedsheets. 

Lucretia approaches Merle until they’re practically nose-to-nose and whispers, “It’s been 74 cycles. Wash. your fucking. dishes.” 

She leaves the room without a backward glance.

**Author's Note:**

> Lup yells at Barry for not doing his dishes, like she doesn't leave dishes all the damn time. 
> 
> My first ever fic! Just a lil' one -- I've got some headcanons that I've been kicking around, so more drabbles might find their way over here. Or maybe eventually I'll collect them all in a bigger project, who knows!


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